LOVE

Perfection

I was at a wedding at the end of August, between two lovely young people involved in the classical music scene in the city: both talented and delightful. What struck me, apart from the expected pleasure (the beauty of bride, the emotions of the speeches, the joy of the crowd), was the musical selection. In my opinion, it couldn't have been done better. What made it more special was that the highly talented young opera singers who performed are all good friends of the bride and groom:

~ the processional music was "Soave sia il vento" (Così fan tutte) and then "Laudate Dominum" (Mozart)

~ during the register signing, it was Strauss's Morgen

 ~ the recessional was the love duet (piano version) from Götterdämmerung's Prologue

~ at the start of the reception the bride and groom danced to Ella Fitzgerald singing Night and Day

~ during a pause in the speeches, the groom told us that his new wife had always encouraged him to keep at his solo piano career; in her honour he played her favourite piece, Clair de Lune

~ An English language version of "Mann und Weib" (from The Magic Flute) used their names in place of "Mann" and "Weib" and opera singers popped up all over the ballroom to join in.

~ an e.e. cummings poem (used in Hannah and Her Sisters) was the reading during the ceremony:

somewhere i have never travelled,
gladly beyond somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond 
any experience, your eyes have their silence: 
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, 
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me 
though i have closed myself as fingers, 
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain,has such small hands

Total. Heartfelt. Perfection.

A Few Grateful Moments

~ I sat for a long time recently, in a sort of dream, my fingers idly stroking the wilting creamy petals of a vase of roses.

~ A while ago I slipped in a massive and ungraceful fashion on a large, invisible puddle in the supermarket. I literally went flying and came down - bang! - on my right hip. I had a couple of bruises and waited with bated breath for my body to start screaming in pain the next day, or the next. It never happened. I'm seriously grateful for still being pretty bouncy.

~ While shopping with my mum, we saw a stroller out of which peeked a pair of very tiny baby feet. Not so tiny as to be newborn with its shrivelled, wrinkly pinkness; these feet were probably a month old, with that pillowy chubbiness, yet still very small. At the end of those tiny pin-cushion puffy feet were teeny tiny toes, wiggling in slow motion, as though being stirred by a gentle breeze. Each toe was like a perfect small pearl. I recalled this hysterical Onion feature, as we both remarked on how nibblable those little toes were.

~ I was called back for a re-do of my first mammogram ever. Gulp. I thought of this clip. I had the re-do, then I had to wait for an ultrasound. I was told that the results would be sent to my gyno in a few days. But after my prolonged ultrasound, the technician asked me to wait while she showed the results to a doctor. I lay there ready for the worst. I lay there a long time, bargaining with God and making plans for the inevitable. Then I was told... I WAS OK!!! I felt a little... like this. Given my family history, cancer is likely to get me at some point... but not just yet!

~ Yellow leaves are falling everywhere, and the city is aglow with them

~ A year of neighbourhood reconstruction (mainly streets and sidewalks) and the noise of rattling windows at home and at work isn't over yet, but when it is - wow, everything will look fantastic! We have the PanAm games to thank for this... Toronto wants to look its best and as my 'hood is very near the athletes new accommodations, my neighbours and I are benefitting. So are the paving contractors!

Quote of the Day

"Unless you love, your life will flash by."

From The Tree of Life (2011)

Quote of the Day

"What is more basic than the need to be known? It is the entirety of intimacy, the elixir of love, this knowing."

From Her Fearful Symmetry, by Audrey Niffenegger

To Karen, David, Chicabear, Babybear, Howard, Howard's Children and Grandchildren, Mikey, Bobbie, Bill and Daria...

Happy Valentine's Day!

I took the pictures last June in Central Park.

"Are you Ready for Your Soup?"

Time shifted, and when I woke this morning, I lay there watching the light get stronger, earlier. With it came the first really cold weather. I lost my gloves but retrieved my pea jacket from the lovely Iranian laundry, where they do excellent adjustments. They took my jacket in at the sides, and you'd never know.

Tonight I had to make warming, woodsy, fragrant soup: onions, mushrooms, organic stock, fresh thyme, salt, pepper, cream.

It's comforting and warming.

Sigh... winter is only just beginning. But, if we are lucky, we have love. And we have laughter. And there may even be espresso!

Sonnet Number 2

When forty winters shall besiege thy brow,
And dig deep trenches in thy beauty's field,
Thy youth's proud livery so gazed on now,
Will be a totter'd weed of small worth held:

Then being asked, where all thy beauty lies,
Where all the treasure of thy lusty days;
To say, within thine own deep sunken eyes,
Were an all-eating shame, and thriftless praise.

How much more praise deserv'd thy beauty's use,
If thou couldst answer 'This fair child of mine
Shall sum my count, and make my old excuse,'
Proving his beauty by succession thine!

This were to be new made when thou art old,
And see thy blood warm when thou feel'st it cold.

William Shakespeare

GOBAMA!

Maybe one day the madness will stop.

In the meantime, Obama just leapt higher in my estimation. It's a risky move, but a timely one. Maybe it will pay off, or maybe his nation will lurch backwards in fear. I think fear is at the heart of this issue. So I urge anyone who opposes the recognition of gay marriage to actually make some gay friends, so you can realize that they are like everyone else, seeking to have a fulfilling life, with a fulfilling partner... you know, like we all do. They're not scary!

I believe wholeheartedly in recognizing gay marriages civilly. And as for church recognition; well most of that will take time. But no God of mine could possibly have a problem with it. I mean, really, come on.

Dedication

I'm listening to the divine Ms Mattila singing Schumann's Widmung (Dedication).

On Valentine's Day this year, I was fortunate to attend a moving recital, of some of Canada's best singers. The audience, "300 of the grooms' friends", were lucky to share the celebration of their wedding, on the 20th anniversary of their relationship. They've had to wait a long time to be able to do this legally. Consul Generals of three other countries attended, but I'm so proud to be a citizen of THIS country, where consenting adults can marry, same sex or not. The grooms are great fans of great music and their generosity in organizing such an event for their guests was incredible. It was pure magic.

Widmung
Du meine Seele, du mein Herz,
Du meine Wonn', o du mein Schmerz,
Du mein Welt, in der ich lebe,
Mein Himmel du, darein ich schwebe,
O du mein Grab, in das hinab
Ich ewig meinem Kummer gab!

Dedication
You my soul, you my heart,
You my bliss, O you my pain,
You my world in which I live,
My heaven you, wherein I float,
O you my grave, into which
I ever lowered all my cares.

The video is not important. I suggest you close your eyes, and just listen.

Paris in Middle Age

There were two films I watched earlier this year, both of which will stay with me a long time, both love stories. Non-romantics can stop reading now.

Goodbye Again (1961) is based on a Francoise Sagan novel, Aimez-vous Brahms? Ingrid Bergman plays 40-year-old Paris-based interior designer, Paula, in love with Roger (Yves Montand at his most insouciant French), and pursued by the 24-year-old Philip, an American played by Anthony Perkins. Age, of course, plays its own role. I'd only seen Perkins in Psycho up to now and was just plain frightened of him. That chillingly iconic portrayal is now obliterated in the light of his handsomeness and charm. He had a very good career, but I think, if hadn't been for Psycho, it might have been better. I won't say anything about the end, except that... I didn't like it. In my mind and heart, I've rewritten it. Look for a cameo by Peter Bull, and - apparently - uncredited appearances by Jean-Pierre Cassel and Sacha Distel. The stunning black and white cinematography by Amand Thirard, especially the rain-slicked streets of the opening credits, only adds to the stylish early 60s Frenchness and aching romance of the film, aided by use of the third movement from Brahms Symphony No. 3 for the soundtrack.




Une Liason Pornographique (1999) is not at all pornographic. It stars Nathalie Baye and Sergí Lopez as two people in Paris who meet online and come together for a purely physical relationship. Their first visit to a hotel is not filmed; that's not the point of the movie. After the physical, what is left is who they are and how they are drawn, despite their initial agreement, to know more about the other. As you can imagine, and why else would you make a film otherwise? - things get a wee bit complicated.

At the time of filming, Baye was 51 and Lopez was 34, and age is never mentioned; it's just not an issue. Surprising and refreshing.

Two films made in two very different years get two thumbs and - what the hell, I'm trying to make a point here - two big toes up!

Beautiful Bench

On a recent day trip out of the city, we saw this striking bench in Uxbridge, Ontario. The large iron leaves were surprisingly comfortable, and we delighted at the many details that went in to it, all in memory of a much-loved woman. Here was the evidence, engraved into one of the leaves that formed the back rest:

For you Mom
Marilyn I. Shier
Our Love
Forever & Always
Sherri & Cynthia Siegrist
2005

A Surpassing Love

Hands up who doesn't know the story of David Lean's masterful film, Brief Encounter (1945), surely the greatest cinematic love story the British have ever produced?

Well, if you don't know it, you might not want to read further, as there are big spoilers ahead, in fact THE spoiler, as I'm discussing the end of the film.

The first time I saw Brief Encounter I was just a little girl. I remember being teased because I had a bit of a crush on Fred (played by Cyril Raymond), the kindly, dull husband of Laura (Celia Johnson). The entire film plays as a flashback, as Laura sits, after dinner, with her husband, as he does the crossword and she, trying to do some mending, casts her mind back over her brief encounter with the dashing Alec (Trevor Howard).

What was I thinking, crushing on Fred? I haven't thought about that for a while, but tonight, while watching the last scene of the film, it occured to me: I've always found the Alec character a bit self-centered and a bit of a wild card, but undeniably a charming man. I couldn't blame Laura for her infatuation. But as the last, famous lines of the film were spoken, what I realized has always made me cry, as much as Laura's loss, is the depth to which her husband - dear, reliable Fred - loves her. It's quite breathtaking. In many parts of my life I have found myself having to acknowledge some truths that I knew in my childhood but have conveniently forgotten. Here was another one: the appreciation of a surpassing love.

I stand here proudly and declare, that I still love Fred!


"Laura?"

"Yes dear..."

"Whatever your dream was, it wasn't a very happy one, was it?

"No..."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yes Fred, you always help."

"You've been a long way away."

"Yes..."

"Thank you for coming back to me."

La nostra casetta

Non la sospiri, la nostra casetta
che tutta ascosa nel verde ci aspetta?
Nido a noi sacro, ignoto al mondo inter,
pien d'amore e di mister?
Al tuo fianco sentire
per le silenziose
stellate ombre, salir
le voci delle cose!
Dai boschi, dai roveti,
dall'arse erbe, dall'imo
dei franti sepolcreti
odorosi di timo.
La notte escon bisbigli
di minuscoli amori
a perfidi consigli
che ammolliscono i cuori.
Fiorite, o campi immensi, palpitate
aure marine, nel lunar albor.
Ah... piovete voluttà, volte stellate!
Arde in Tosca un folle amor!

Do you not long for our little house
that is waiting for us, hidden in the grove?
Our refuge, sacred to us and unseen by the world,
protected with love and mystery?
Oh, at your side to listen there
to the voices of the night
as they rise through the starlit,
shadowed silences:
from the woods, from the thickets
and the dry grass, from the depths
of shattered tombs
scented with thyme,
the night murmurs
its thousand loves
and false counsels
to soften and seduce the heart.
Oh wide fields, blossom! and sea winds throb
in the moon's radiance, ah,
rain down desire you vaulted stars!
Tosca burns with a mad love!


From Tosca, the opera by Puccini, with a libretto by Illica and Giacosa. I copied this out from the EMI recording (1965 with Callas), but there was no translation credit. Check out the labels for this post. Yum.

Quote of the Day

Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a
Stranger,
Only to someone
Who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife
Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

From "The Gift", by Hafiz, one of my favourite poets. The photograph is of a corner of my bedroom at sunset.

Love Me, Love my Blog

I'm not putting as much energy into my blog as I was a couple of years ago, but it still goes some way in representing me and my activities. So it's with some curiosity that I have witnessed the following: Two gentlemen, one I was getting to know several months ago, one I am getting to know now, professed a particular interest in me. It was not many meetings in with both situations that I mentioned my blog in passing. Both took a first look. One - this was several months ago, and that connection is long over - looked at it once, but was uninterested in it, while professing powerful feelings for me. The other, just recently, has taken a decided interest in it.

I don't see how, if I was becoming attached to someone, that I could overlook something like a blog as I felt that desire to know them grow. I don't bare my soul on here, but my blog covers most of my interests, and the tone I use to create my posts surely says something about me.

Obviously Man #1 is no more. Man #2 has endeared himself to me for many reasons, not the least of which is his interest in my little blog.

For someone women it's cats, or their children, or their predilection for motorcycle parts. For me, it's love me, love my blog.

Lovers' Day

Heart’s Burden

I don’t know how this spark was born,
I felt it deep within me glow,
And with your voice and with your words,
It caught and burned, I feel it grow.
And now this spark becomes a flame,
A spell that holds me close and tight,
It climbs and licks and will consume me,
I’m yours by day and through the night.
No other light glows within me,
But this one that you have planted,
All else is ashes by your pyre,
My other joys you have supplanted.

This heart so lately safe from burning,
Now for you is ever yearning.


(Photograph of Bruce the Bat at the Montreal Museum of Fine Art)

In Honour of Loving

I read this morning on Edward's blog that Mildred Loving has passed away at the age of 68. Last year, on the 40th anniversary of an important Supreme Court ruling, she released the following statement:


LOVING FOR ALL

By Mildred Loving

Prepared for Delivery on June 12, 2007,
The 40th Anniversary of the Loving vs. Virginia Announcement

When my late husband, Richard, and I got married in Washington, DC in 1958, it wasn’t to make a political statement or start a fight. We were in love, and we wanted to be married.

We didn’t get married in Washington because we wanted to marry there. We did it there because the government wouldn’t allow us to marry back home in Virginia where we grew up, where we met, where we fell in love, and where we wanted to be together and build our family. You see, I am a woman of color and Richard was white, and at that time people believed it was okay to keep us from marrying because of their ideas of who should marry whom.

When Richard and I came back to our home in Virginia, happily married, we had no intention of battling over the law. We made a commitment to each other in our love and lives, and now had the legal commitment, called marriage, to match. Isn’t that what marriage is?

Not long after our wedding, we were awakened in the middle of the night in our own bedroom by deputy sheriffs and actually arrested for the “crime” of marrying the wrong kind of person. Our marriage certificate was hanging on the wall above the bed. The state prosecuted Richard and me, and after we were found guilty, the judge declared: “Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.” He sentenced us to a year in prison, but offered to suspend the sentence if we left our home in Virginia for 25 years exile.

We left, and got a lawyer. Richard and I had to fight, but still were not fighting for a cause. We were fighting for our love.

Though it turned out we had to fight, happily Richard and I didn’t have to fight alone. Thanks to groups like the ACLU and the NAACP Legal Defense & Education Fund, and so many good people around the country willing to speak up, we took our case for the freedom to marry all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. And on June 12, 1967, the Supreme Court ruled unanimously that, “The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men,” a “basic civil right.”

My generation was bitterly divided over something that should have been so clear and right. The majority believed that what the judge said, that it was God’s plan to keep people apart, and that government should discriminate against people in love. But I have lived long enough now to see big changes. The older generation’s fears and prejudices have given way, and today’s young people realize that if someone loves someone they have a right to marry.

Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don’t think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the “wrong kind of person” for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.

Quote of the Day... and two Young Lovers

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn,

Is just to love and be loved in return."

From the song "Nature Boy" with words and music by Eden Abhez.

This picture is of my paternal grandparents in - I am estimating - 1929. He was 23 and she was 18. I miss all my grandparents. Just when you get old enough to realize you want to really know them, it's too late.

This is such a romantic picture. I'm so happy for them.