"She cooks as good as she looks"

I know I go on about the lack of good thrillers on the screen and yet I still fall for the promise of a chill-ride. Recently I saw 88 Minutes (2007), a last-minute error; and Deception (2008), lulled into feverish excitement by the combination of Ewan McGregor and Hugh Jackman, the latter only taking his shirt off once, the handsome rotter! Awful movies. Combined, that makes about four hours I’ll never get back.

At the same time, I caught the original Stepford Wives (1975) on TCM. Now that’s a good thriller. I hadn't seen it in years. We sat there and hardly moved a muscle until it was over.

*SPOILERS ALERT*

The interesting thing was that apparently Ira Levin, the author of the original book (which I never read), wanted the wives of Stepford in more overtly sexual outfits, sort of like Playboy bunnies. But director Bryan Forbes wanted to go with the more obviously docile and feminine look, all 70s floppy hats and voluminous, white frilly dresses. Yes, the latter look is pretty twee but much more plausible. A town peopled with Playboy bunnies is going to get a worrying amount of attention from the outside world, and surely it is the fear that the Stepford husbands feel that bring them to Stepford in the first place, to tame their wives into docile dream dolls and keep them from the outside world. Well, Forbes won and I think it a good thing. The extreme femininity, like most extremes is scary… the men are scary… Stepford is terrifying. So, when a remake was in the works I was most intrigued. The result was horrible. They did away with the ballsy chilling film that Forbes gave us, and instead came up with a goofy comedy with an upbeat ending. I suppose the attempt was to make a Hollywood blockbuster. But think of the possibilities if they had played it straight and sought to frighten us: set in a gated community: Stepford Acres. Eek!! I'll hide under the bedclothes tonight.

It was the same creative tragedy with Spoorloos (1988), a terrifying Dutch film, remade into The Vanishing (1993), which gave this horror an upbeat ending, and basically killed it. I won't tell you what happens, but only watch Spoorloos if you are not alone and are not sleeping alone. Seriously.

Another Kidman film that jumped the shark the minute the story was approved is The Invasion (2007), a dreadful, tepid remake of the two earlier Invasion of the Body Snatchers movies (1956 and 1978). The minute you see that our heroine has a cute, blond, tow-headed youngster, well, you know it’s got to have a happy ending, right? Nothing bad ever happens with a child around. Remind me to borrow a cute kid next time I take plane anywhere. Shameful premise, ghastly film. But how could I not see it? Daniel Craig, my secret boyfriend, was in it too, dashing in his corduroys. Years ago, an actress friend of mine remarked that the camera loves Nicole Kidman. It still does. She has a rare, removed love affair with the lens that is still there, despite the work she’s had done on her face. Maybe it’s that reserve that keeps that love alive. Certainly I find her fascinating and will see her in almost anything.

And finally, hunky Jackman and fascinating Kidman together at last! I found this link on Eagle Wing's blog: the trailer for the new Bazz Luhrmann film, Australia. I can't wait till November!

(Title quote: Peter Masterson as Walter Eberhart in The Stepford Wives, 1975.)