Moment for Reflection

I have cause to pause and to consider.

I had a new "portfolio" added to my job all of a sudden last September. It really added a chunk to my day and I let it cause some stressful times all through the Fall and the run up to Winter. As of last night it didn't so much come to an end, as reach a form of completion. I mean, it's never really complete, always ongoing, but there is a sense of: this is the moment I was working towards, apart from the other responsibilities of my job.

So, without boring you with all the details, it's done. And it feels good. The feedback has been wonderful. Now I find my mind shooting in all directions. Do I continue with this path? Do I move on after many years with a company that has been so important to me? Do I stay and take on another interesting project (that is burbling in the background)?

I don't have the answer yet. I do know that I will shift the life-work balance. As I do that it makes me ponder the importance of my career. For someone who chose not to have children, it is a huge part of my life. I would venture to say that also for many women who choose to have children, their careers are often a huge part of their lives. I mean... we spend more waking hours with our work mates than we do with our families, for the most part. So what we do for work is something we'd better love. I do. I love my work. I enjoy my colleagues. I believe in what I do. Outside of official work, I have some volunteerism, my writing (one day to be published if I have anything to do with it, dagnabit), and other one-off projects.

But still my life outside of these interests is of paramount importance and it is still my own, and I guard it jealously. I love my friends and family, and how patient most of them were and supportive as I worked many long nights, and sent cheery messages of encouragement over the last few months.

I am still bothered by my vertigo and concomitant complications, but I believe that to be something that is either fading, or that I am getting used to (can't really tell which sometimes!) It hasn't affected my work too much, but all remaining energy has gone into dealing with it. The easing of that will make a big difference, as I relaunch myself on the unsuspecting city and all the cultural and vulgar attractions it has to offer.

Truly, I am in a blessed place. I can move on, stay where I am, kick back a bit, or take another challenge between my teeth. I have much to enjoy now, I have more to look forward to. Maybe another country? Another city? I have had a couple of interesting offers.

I shall see. In the meantime, I am going to pause, read my book on Buddhism, try not to think too much.

Yeah... we'll see how that works out. Hee hee. (Mmmmmm... thinking again.)